i was never faithful and i was never one to trust

You weren't the first one. Before you there was him and before him there was my favorite one and before him there was the first one. I truly once believed that after the first one there wouldn't be no one else. His eyes almost made me stay. It took me a while to get back to the normal days. Then I was surprised by the delightful touch of the next one. He quickly became the only one I would ever wanted, even if it would be like that: time to time. And everything was under control till that night the Cheshire Cat showed up. As Alice I was took to Wonderland but I knew I should come back. So you came and dragged me into my madness. I couldn't have anything under any control anymore. Maybe I never wanted things being controlled, maybe I was just waiting for the breakdown of sanity. You know there was the one after you. And now there's the one that will replace you.

♪♫ I was never loyal, except to my own pleasure zone ♪♫

you can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth

I decided to get back to writing because I realized that feelings had not left me as I once thought they had. That one night under the Cheshire Cat Smile made me feel that there was still warm blood in my veins. But then there was you. At first you came as the one who would make my blood warmer. You made my heart burn. And so you burnt it. My heart exploded in a million pieces. I managed to save some parts of it. But from now on I have to bury these precious pieces in a jar and keep you away from us. 

♪♫ The more you change the less you feel ♪♫

i was happy in the haze of a drunken hour

At this very moment I'm drunk as fuck. I've been thinking of you a lot these days. I think of you even when I'm with him. With the other him. With anyone else. I miss you. I miss your kiss more than anything. I wish I could say that I love you but this would be a lie. I only love your kiss. I could die while kissing you and that would be a wonderful death. Please, don't take this words seriously. I'm drunk. Or worse than that, I'm in love. 

♪♫ But heaven knows I'm miserable now ♪♫

will you let the fire die down soon?

I'm about to use my strongest song with you. The very moment I left that room I understood I shouldn't have left your bed. He is gentle and kind, but it's your hands I like the most. His arms are stronger but not so strong as your look deep down to my eyes when you're over me. You spoiled me with all that kissing game and it really upsets me that he definitely can't act the same. He talks too much; you are a good listener. I'm scared to death that you will never let me in again. You should know I only love him because you can't love me. If you could, I would be tied up to your bed forever. I would never leave your room.

♪♫ [Or will I always be here?] ♪♫

i know there's a place you walked

What happened to you? Where did that cool person go? When did you change that much? Who are you now? Above all this questions: how do you still have the guts to say you're back? Someone else is here, but you... you have gone forever, I guess.

♪♫ My heart is like a broken cup ♪♫

my head is turning

I

definitely

shouldn't

be

missing wanting

you.

 

♫♪ I want you now ♫♪ 

oh it was sweet, it was wild

I

definitely

shouldn't

be

missing

you.

[I'm trying to use these words as a mantra]

♪♫ Oh, just one more and I'll walk away ♪♫