i was happy in the haze of a drunken hour

At this very moment I'm drunk as fuck. I've been thinking of you a lot these days. I think of you even when I'm with him. With the other him. With anyone else. I miss you. I miss your kiss more than anything. I wish I could say that I love you but this would be a lie. I only love your kiss. I could die while kissing you and that would be a wonderful death. Please, don't take this words seriously. I'm drunk. Or worse than that, I'm in love. 

♪♫ But heaven knows I'm miserable now ♪♫

will you let the fire die down soon?

I'm about to use my strongest song with you. The very moment I left that room I understood I shouldn't have left your bed. He is gentle and kind, but it's your hands I like the most. His arms are stronger but not so strong as your look deep down to my eyes when you're over me. You spoiled me with all that kissing game and it really upsets me that he definitely can't act the same. He talks too much; you are a good listener. I'm scared to death that you will never let me in again. You should know I only love him because you can't love me. If you could, I would be tied up to your bed forever. I would never leave your room.

♪♫ [Or will I always be here?] ♪♫

i know there's a place you walked

What happened to you? Where did that cool person go? When did you change that much? Who are you now? Above all this questions: how do you still have the guts to say you're back? Someone else is here, but you... you have gone forever, I guess.

♪♫ My heart is like a broken cup ♪♫

my head is turning

I

definitely

shouldn't

be

missing wanting

you.

 

♫♪ I want you now ♫♪ 

oh it was sweet, it was wild

I

definitely

shouldn't

be

missing

you.

[I'm trying to use these words as a mantra]

♪♫ Oh, just one more and I'll walk away ♪♫

i woke up sucking a lemon

Don't you ever dare being kind to me. You know I hate people playing kind. I need blood cutting words to keep all the things in the right place. Don't you ever dare being nice to me. You know I hate people playing nice. I need harmful actions to keep all my feelings in the right place. Don't you ever dare being gentle to me. You know I hate people playing gentle. I need violent movements to keep all the desire in the right place. Don't you ever dare being anything but you to me. You know I hate people who are not you. I need you to keep me in the right place.

♪ ♫ What was that you tried to say? ♪ ♫

there's a gap where we meet

I miss those younger and wilder days when you used to arrive home drunk as fuck and call me in the middle of the night. I miss those long conversations about trying to be healthier, but how delicious alcohol used to taste. I miss your careless way to talk about deep feelings making them seem just like playful things. I miss that time you used to like me. I miss loving you. What did we miss in the meantime?

♪ ♫ And I'm sorry for us ♪ ♫