what is it you want?

It bothers more than a bit this hello-goodbye game you started to play. Since that one night we talked too much things have got weird. Well, as if everything about us wasn't weird enough. It bothers me more than a bit the fact you don't even seem to care. Maybe I was right on my first thoughts about you. But why did you make me think I was not? It bothers me more than a bit I'm still too naive to play this game with you. And I think it's the kind of game I prefer not learning how to play. Even if I got the best coach.

♫♪ Are you having your fun? ♫♪

sometimes i get overcharged

I thought it would take a couple of days more until we get to this point. Silly me, I guess. I should know. Yes, I should know from the beginning. In fact, I should have kept in mind my Joely-complex. It's always for a kiss, it's always for a smile. It's always a little painful. A little less each time. Will there be a day it won't gonna hurt anymore? I hope so. Maybe I should be more like Clem. In fact, I should have kept locked my Joely-complex.

♪♫ Idiot, slow down, slow down ♪♫

i was never faithful and i was never one to trust

You weren't the first one. Before you there was him and before him there was my favorite one and before him there was the first one. I truly once believed that after the first one there wouldn't be no one else. His eyes almost made me stay. It took me a while to get back to the normal days. Then I was surprised by the delightful touch of the next one. He quickly became the only one I would ever wanted, even if it would be like that: time to time. And everything was under control till that night the Cheshire Cat showed up. As Alice I was took to Wonderland but I knew I should come back. So you came and dragged me into my madness. I couldn't have anything under any control anymore. Maybe I never wanted things being controlled, maybe I was just waiting for the breakdown of sanity. You know there was the one after you. And now there's the one that will replace you.

♪♫ I was never loyal, except to my own pleasure zone ♪♫

i was happy in the haze of a drunken hour

At this very moment I'm drunk as fuck. I've been thinking of you a lot these days. I think of you even when I'm with him. With the other him. With anyone else. I miss you. I miss your kiss more than anything. I wish I could say that I love you but this would be a lie. I only love your kiss. I could die while kissing you and that would be a wonderful death. Please, don't take this words seriously. I'm drunk. Or worse than that, I'm in love. 

♪♫ But heaven knows I'm miserable now ♪♫

will you let the fire die down soon?

I'm about to use my strongest song with you. The very moment I left that room I understood I shouldn't have left your bed. He is gentle and kind, but it's your hands I like the most. His arms are stronger but not so strong as your look deep down to my eyes when you're over me. You spoiled me with all that kissing game and it really upsets me that he definitely can't act the same. He talks too much; you are a good listener. I'm scared to death that you will never let me in again. You should know I only love him because you can't love me. If you could, I would be tied up to your bed forever. I would never leave your room.

♪♫ [Or will I always be here?] ♪♫

my head is turning

I

definitely

shouldn't

be

missing wanting

you.

 

♫♪ I want you now ♫♪ 

the key

It's been three months since I first saw you. By that time we couldn't imagine that by letting you in I would let me out. By this time I wonder if it was a good thing or if we just opened the gates of my hell. I'm telling you that I can't put my desire on a lash anymore. Shame on you for not being here to see your masterpiece. It's been three months since I last saw you.

 ♪ ♫ To a healthy heart beat ♪ ♫

it started out with a kiss

It was supposed to be just a warm night filled with beers and laughs. But we were full of too many other things that should be pulled out. And we've made it. Halfway. Suddenly we turned the laughs into smiles. It was fateful. The beers weren't cold enough to lower the heat of our souls. I tried to kill the fire in your eyes with my mouth. Burnt my tongue.

♪ ♫ How did it end up like this? ♪ ♫

i'll be your lover

Sitting here with a beer and the bruises I've got from our latest afternoon. Thinking of how much I still have to lose before I get completely lost. Writing and erasing every three words. Never thought I would ever be that close to crawl because of you. But you won't see me doing that: I'll blindfold you with my legs.

♪ ♫ I'll be your ether you'll breathe me in ♪ ♫

it's in your reach

I've been telling myself that I don't like you that much for years, but I believe almost everybody knows it's not true. If they don't, then they are so damn blind as you are. Or maybe I'm just pretty good at lying. It can be both. I could even lie that I love you if you asked me to and you would believe it.

♪ ♫ Can you find me space inside your bleeding heart? ♪ ♫

come and find me

You said you were back in town for a while and wanted to see me. The lack of effort to drive to my house proved you were lying. It was not just about the beers, it was about fears. Next time don't be such a baby, don't make it about tears.

♪ ♫ I'll be waiting with a gun and a pack of sandwiches ♪ ♫

nothing

For a long time, I used to think I already had felt all the amount of feelings that was destinated to me. Just lived long enough to find out I was wrong. I don't know what to do right now about it but to write. But also I don't know what I'm feeling at all, so maybe I start to write about... nothing. Or, at least, nothing that makes any sense.

♪ ♫ What am I trying to do? What am I trying to say? ♪ ♫